The Path

2009-06-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

it's almost a year. maybe another 1 month and 11 more days.

time flies really quickly. but i still cant forget you. I really need to move on. I really do.

I am hurting myself by still viewing your blog, viewing your facebook, viewing your friendster every single day. I did tried to force myself not to view. But I just can't stop.

To many of my friends, I may seem stupid to still clinch on to the past. But its not as easy to be said than done. Thank you for those who always keep by my side, making my day bright every single day. I may not be as jovial as last time, but I will be back to my happy state one day. I promise!

Thank you, yihao clique. (with estelle, jeremy, deborah, jersey) really thank you.

Thank you, ben quek. (thank you for playing dota with me, thank you for going out with me)

Thank you, chen han, umesh, jonathan and jian wei. (to jian wei: thank you for your movie treats. thank you. I will never forget.) (to jon: I know i always blame you for not playing well, but I never once looked down on you. I will play dota for you if you get bullied, I will I promise) (to umesh: will keep playing dota. thank you for calling me god of dota. but i am not a professional player.) (to chen han: you are a good person. fight for your love!)

Thank you, jessica. (for being by my msn, whenever I am feeling down. You always talk to me, keep my occupied. Thank you)

Thank you, Gyver. (for bringing me around to have fun. thank you. when i am free, i will call you and let's go out tgt)

Thank you, Chermine. (for always talking to me to keep me happy, although i don't like you saying that im talking to jiejies or meimeis. I am not okay! thank you ball!)

Thank you, Johnny Lau. (for always telling me jokes whenever I ask for one or many. Thank you, Johnny I never regret knowing you. you are really my laughing medicine.)

Thank you, kk, jiesheng, tiffany. (for being a very good fyp team, I know there's still a long way down, but with you all I won't give up.)

Thank you, prankster JJ, zewei, peichen, kelvin. (for accompanying me every tuesday for lunch)

Thank you, Waizhan. (for accompanying me for almost every meals, and everyday back home tgt with yihao!) thank you.

Thank you, my happy friend!! (for always telling me not to be sad! for always talking to me! for always being busy!)

thank you, to Peiyi. (for teaching me, for laughing at me to make me laugh, for everything, for wanting to bring me out. thank you!)

I want to thank alot of people. but i'll cry or feel very sad if I continue.
thank you, pardon me alright. I will never forget u all.

lastly, I want to thank you. (I finally understand what is love, after you left me.)

to you: I am sorry, for being selfish. But I think this will be the fastest and quickiest way for me to forget you, to not be able to keeptrack on you, to stop looking at you, to stop missing you, to stop thinking about you, to stop everything. I know you moved on long ago but I can't deny that you are still in me. But I really have to stop myself. I am really sorry. :(
please take care.

i felt the pain when i clicked on the button. :(
i cant control myself to cry again. stupid lionel. :(

to all my loyal readers, this will be the final post I am writing.
thank you all for keeping track on how's my life. thank you!

thank you the person from australia, for viewing me constantly. thank you.

I will still keep a lookout on my tagboard. Feel free to write anything you want. I will reply when I visit my blog. Thank you!

with thousands of apologies.

2009-06-07T05:28:00.001-07:00

life's a game.

2009-05-31T03:30:00.000-07:00

i want to improve. i want to do a lot of things now.
diversification.

haha.

time flies. moments are captured in the stationary photographs.

2009-05-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

many many many days.
many many many thoughts.
many many many aches.
many many many misses.
many many many times.

secrets in the heart. wishes in the little hut.
perhaps its time to movee on. (:

trying to stay happy. I know it's possible.

2009-05-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

a tiring day i had.

today i went to bedok swimming complex, and i swear i wont go anymore. its damn smelly! awfully smelly.

after that I went to bedok's Sheng Siong. OMG la. its very big! haha.

next next next, went to ben's house. slacked and roll around. HAHA. then went back home for dinner. okay. end of the day. dota-ing soon. i miss playing pool, but i just don feel like playing.

maybe it's just not the time for me yet.

2009-05-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

i hope i can control myself, i need to keep far far away from her. i don want to make her sad. and i dont want to make myself sad too. i know i cant see her :(

i just hope one day she will want to see me. okay. byebye. moody.

2009-05-13T06:20:00.001-07:00

how i wish, i can really forget things fast.
why am i born like that! ha. ok. time to sleep.

2009-05-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

am i sad because i didnt see you, or i want to see you.

i just hope i wasn't like that.

2009-05-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

today is a sad day.

i wanted to meet her early today to go to school with her.
i told my mum to die die force me to wake up earlier, because i want to go to school with her.
i had classes at 10. i woked up at 650. get myself ready, pick my clothes, bathed, styled my hair, went out house with a smile (:

but in the end, i was sad because of her. i only wished for a trip to school together with her.
but i wont have it.

lionel, why are you still like that. can you change for good? :(

2009-05-03T03:32:00.000-07:00

AWW man!

haha. had NAPFA ytd, was damn tiring la. only can get bronze! SHIT MAN. but BRONZE is still fail! nvm la. can do better next time! haha.

after napfa, went over to eat lunch, den went to yihao's house to sleep! lol! cos i was too tired. After that, woke up, bathed and went to meet up with Seri and Friends, at vivo for dinner at BK. Den we went out to the riverside, cos some of them need to puff! haha. v funny, puff! okay.

Den as they PUFF and HUFF. they was thinking for me! HAHA they were worried if my hairstyle can enter st.James not. But I told them was alright la, can one! HAHA den after awhile I start to think! HMM! Later if u all go in, den I never join you all how? den felt very bad, if I couldnt accompany them.

So, I went to buy a BEANIE with Ben from ClubMarc. Den I wore to enter st.James. But in the end, I took it out! Cos its like DAMN WARM. AND one more thing I look like a nerd with sickness. So therefore, I took it out in the toilet and restyle my hair! HAHA.

But next is a joke. I went out and saw Jie Sheng at the smoking area I was excited to see him smoking, till I walk pass the boundary that SAYS OUT! WTF?! I was like omfg! its just 1 CM and the bouncer don allow me to enter back! I wanted to shout at him, but he talked to me nicely after i raised my voice. YEP! so i walked back again! LOL!

okay. I find st.james okay la. very very noisy! too too touchy already the dancing floor! its because its damn squeezyyyy also. so I decided not to stay in there and went to sit at the bar.
after awhile, yihao told me that, there was a small fight at the dance floor just now! SHIT wasted. I never see. HAHA.

Had some liquor before entering, and had alot of liquor when i was in. had shots and jugs. WOAH! but the taste of their alcoholic drinks are not really as nice as clarke quay, perhaps its due to the amount of mixtures. HAHA. tequila wasnt really attractive too.
I still prefer the clarke quay's!

okayy. I left my beanie with Firdaus and friends! HAHA. getting it back on monday!
see you on monday beanie!

rarar. (: tiring day. i hope i can stop thinking about you.

2009-05-01T05:12:00.001-07:00

HAPPY MAYDAY! (:

rarar.

2009-04-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

AWWW! bloody hell! i was late today. wasn't suppose to be late la.

well, i left house, and took mrt, den i met siew huay in the train, den we went to the interchange to take bus to school due to heavy rain, We were there at 9.35am.
Den we waited for the bus from then, till 9.45am we saw puayyek. den she joined us in the queue. after awhile, I SAW FION! then i asked her to join in to cut the queue. HAHA. den she was guilty la. she said is it okay not? haha. i say its okay, come join in my queue. HAHA. den after that we queue and laugh at things. den we queued all e way until the next batch to board the bus, and the bus personnel told us, the bus that left was e last bus! BLOODY HELL! its 10am already leh!

So Fion decided to take bus 903, so we ran to catch up with the bus and board it, and go to school! haha.

now studying in class, find time passing very slowly and im going to sleep soon la. :(

rarar.

2009-04-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

TO EVERYONE!

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

BEWARE OF THE NEW VIRUS, SWINE FLU!

It's an advanced version or should I say a stronger type of virus as compared to SARS.

DO NOT EAT PORK NOW! EAT SOME OTHER TIME LATER! LOL!

rarar.

2009-04-29T05:07:00.001-07:00

woah woah woah.

Today is FYP day. well, we reached school and discussed about fyp. New designs new ideas.

HAHA. okayy. after that at around 1 plus we had our lunch at E1 and then followed by the OUTING! HAHA. went to buy things and shopped again! okayy.

after that OUTING, me and jiesheng went to vivocity. We walked around harbour front centre and vivocity. There's a shop named NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC opened by NG itself. The things in there are not CHEAP OKAY. its damn expensive. but I don think there's alot of business. But the concept of having such a shop is really not bad, BUT I think it should not be in vivo.

After vivo, I went to meet ben at cityhall! he was still at tanah merah when I reached cityhall already. OMG can. I waited like 20 mins for him i sit until my buttock rot. HAHA.

Den after that we went to AMK hub, went to UOB to re-make ben's lost atm card, den went to bought a new sport shoe! cause it was damn light la.

adizero, adiprene. (:

okayy. haha.

rarar.

2009-04-27T08:38:00.001-07:00

AWWW YES! HAHA.

During today's driving lesson, 10 minutes after I started driving, my instructor talked to me.

Instructor: You drive before?
Me: NO? erm yes, this is the 2nd lesson?!
Instructor: oh! okay.

after 5 mins

Instructor: You can drive really well, you improved really fast!
Me: ohh thank you!
Instructor: Let's move to the next phrase! Phrase 2.
Me: okay?! So what's that?
Instructor: okay now, I want you to drive from gear 1 to gear 4 and bring it back down to gear 1.
Me: HUH?! okay I try.

after 5 mins

Instructor: You sure you never learn driving before?
Me: I REALLY NEVER! HAHA.
Instructor: Woah. You're good.
Me: Thank you. (thinking) I should need more practise.

What was e weird weird thing!

1st day of lesson, he sat really straight, he was really afraid that I couldn't control the car so he prepared his leg over at the leftside's footbreak.

2nd day of lesson, HE SAT WITH HIS LEGS CROSS. He has no worries about me! LOL!

aww. stupid. next lesson is damn far away. GRAHH!!!

okay another SHOCKING thing I had today. I was sitting in the class, stressing about my research. Estelle talked to me. I chua tio alot! ROFL will post the convo up soon! haha. its in my other laptop!

super joke. (: fun day.

rarar. do i miss you? why did i went there?

2009-04-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

Susan Boyle. OMG!

her voice touched me deep down inside.
never judge a person by his/her looks. he/she can be really damn good.

awww. lovely voice.

rarar.

2009-04-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIHAO!

rofl. enjoy your birthday. haha.

okayy. gg to sakae later. (went over to ajisen instead) eat eat eat eat.
im already fat. now gg to be fatter. im gg to win big show in mass one day!(dreaming) haha.

went over to tampanies. shopped. and watched yihao played soccer. I swear e weather was horrible.

i bought things from uniqlo because of their unique paper bags! HAHA.

rarar. (:

2009-04-23T05:12:00.000-07:00

woah tired day!

went for a jog in e evening when i got back home. damn tired already. but i don know why, I just felt like jogging! haha.

sometimes its just not so easy. and i know it takes time.

HAHA! okay. jessica don't worry, your boyfriend will return back home soon! smileeee! (:

rarar. tired.

2009-04-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

awww man! i flew the RC helicoptor well! but not as well as others. but I think I can do better one! HAHA. Jie sheng can fly it really well!

i got bad experience for advanced maths 2 ytd. If I have it again, I will be hard-hearted.

one day, i will keep myself entertain! haha.
should i buy it or not?! think think think! most probably will. but not sure yet! haha.

chermine damn busy! she needs moonstones! rofl!

rarar. (:

2009-04-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

WOAH! 1st day of school! hahaha.

not bad la huh! class was okay! enjoyed e lesson! esp the timing of class! its SUPERB! hahah

10am for class, thats a right thing man!
HAHA!

after class went for lunch with yihao and seri at BREEKS! haha! after that something really strange happened when firduas came! HAHA! joke of the year! 1st time in my history!
shall not say it out!

awww. awaiting for next driving lesson! haha.

rarar.

2009-04-19T04:44:00.000-07:00

COOL! IM BACK HOME!

hahaha. driving is really damn cool la!
although manual driving is a little tough, but i think its fun la! its worth my time to learn!

im gg to practise well, do well! hahah.

next up, fly RC helicopter! need to practise and make it possible to hover and fly straight and level from PART A to PART B. haha. well do it!

enjoying life. i need to study hard! yes I will!

rarar. (:

2009-04-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

awwww. orientation over! haha. but im still tired la!
i enjoyed it. i believe my campers too! haha. (:

im gg for my 1st pratical driving lesson soon! im so nervous la! howhowhow?!

haha. school is reopening tml! its gg to be really fun! haha. i'll enjoy it!
and its gg to be really busy year for me! im gg to work hard! all e best lionel! (:

im sorry. i don't dare to love anyone now.

rarar. haha. im gg to enjoy my driving lessons!

2009-04-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

awwww. today i helped out at YEAR 1 ORIENTATION!

HAHA. my campers are so hyper! hahaa. CHUNG WU, CANT TAKE CONTROL OF MY CAMPERS! YOU KNOW WHY?! COS U NEVER CHARGE YOURSELF UP!
HAHAHA

MY charm more la. JON charm together with mine?! OWNAGE! rofl!

anyway its fun day! enjoy peeps! hahaa.

rarar. hahaha.

2009-04-13T08:06:00.001-07:00

new hobbie!

prawn fishing! HAHAHA!.

damn cool la. will go some other free time! its really fun :D

rarar.

2009-04-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

HAHA. I bought 2 watches!

im gg to start wearing watch! i think there's a need! haha. i can't rely on my phone too much.

school's starting. life's okay for me (:
im going to study. im going to play. im going to be myself.

school holidays ending, its time for me to see my new classmates.
Surprisingly yet omg-ly, i got 4 different class of classmates.
im starting to forget some of their names, there's too many people to know!
hahaha. i love friends. now i see the importance of them. rofl.

rarar.

2009-04-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

this is christie's birthday cake!!

yihao can eat alot! christie thinks e strawberry is hot! im shocked!

my joker christie with me along e sea. he tot im gg to push him down in e sea la. haha.

last picture. haha!

1st. picture from pohsoo's NIKON!

me, ben, yihao! rofl!

where's pohsoo?!
he is in this blog but you just cant see him. he is too charming! haha. cannot display him out!

2009-04-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIE!
HAHA.

April's FOOL day baby! lol.

had lots of fun. and lionel is damn blehdly full now.

rarar.

2009-03-31T09:44:00.001-07:00

just a random thought. haha.

is a relationship, really so difficult to maintain?
hmmm. haha. i don't know!

awww. songs are the ones that driven my thoughts. haha. anyway i can't sleep la.
its like 12.45am. im suffering from CANNOT SLEEP SICKNESS. its getting worst.
I hate my "O" level years! till now, i cant sleep early.

haha.

rarar.

2009-03-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

new wallet :D
new haircut (:
new ear studs? =D haha. see first.

new new new .......... ? haha see how first.

rarar. (:

2009-03-26T06:12:00.002-07:00

ARGH! need the help of buddha. please save my stomach! i have been visiting the toilet for 4 times already. Im not sure if the 5th is coming not?! but i hope NOT! haha.

I think the housefly implanted its egg in my stomach! and its doing STUNTS! haha.

rarar.

2009-03-26T06:12:00.001-07:00

awwww new hair cut! haha.

2009-03-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

I pierced my EAR! hahah!

but it hurts more than the last time :(

but its OKAY! lol

rarar.

2009-03-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

aww. i took this test because i was bored! haha.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx this link to know yourself better :D

rarar.

2009-03-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

thinking of a new hairstyle. but its gg to be damn attention catching! well, it all depends on my mood! lol.

im still considering what to cut! hope to get it by next week before my parents return from overseas. if not i will DIE! hahaha.

rarar.

2009-03-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

i went to watch COMING SOON! its so damn scary! i closed my ears, i still got shocked from the screens. its damn scary. DON'T WATCH IF U HAVE A WEAK HEART. the story line is not bad, but some may find it boring. The movie needs no understanding, its just a movie that u can spend on to get yourself scared! LOL!

its so so omg la! anyway watch it!

rarar.

2009-03-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

BEN IS A JOKE.

JOHNNY is also a JOKE.

Both of them seriously can make people laugh like MAD!

rarar.

2009-03-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

yawnnn!

i seriously need lots of sleep after tomorrow or by the end of this week! if not im gg to get real thick and dark panda eyes bags soon. haha. okayyy im gg to sleep now. too tired to type anymore! haha. good bye people! nights! :D

rarar.

2009-02-27T07:27:00.000-08:00

its just so difficult at times. but don't worry be happy :D

everything will be fine, soon :D smile smile.

lionel smiles.

2009-02-22T05:44:00.000-08:00

IM BACK! pictures later! :D

2009-02-13T09:34:00.001-08:00

awww. just one more day! after valentine's day, good bye singapore! will come back the next saturday.

anyone who wants to contact me, ask me for my china handphone number. actually my dad's. haha. or sms me, can also ask me for the number! hahaha. byebye! sleeping now! so tired!

2009-02-10T05:03:00.001-08:00

i shouldn't have went.

2009-02-07T06:41:00.001-08:00

just a few more days.

i know you won't miss me.

2009-01-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

awww. new year pictures. displaying some only!

these are my cousins, from my granny side!

he is a mixed blood! hahaa. he is playing my psp! cool boy! he is funny!

2009-01-29T05:53:00.000-08:00

you(you)you, will be happy (:

you know who! its you!

2009-01-26T06:54:00.001-08:00

i really love that place! i will bring my love there!

2009-01-26T06:52:00.001-08:00

happy chinese new year!

2009-01-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

happy birthday kylie! hahaha.

2009-01-22T17:30:00.001-08:00

i don't want to talk to u.
i don't want to quarrel with u. :(

2009-01-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! JANE!

Stay happy.

2009-01-18T19:20:00.000-08:00

history was made and created because it don't want us to repeat the same mistakes.

2009-01-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

haha. omg i have fun today. lots of fun. :D im happy.

played badminton with jon's classmates. omg they are so good la. pros.

den i saw zul, he was bored thus he asked to me to play with him. We played table tennis. HE is good la. and den we went back to play badminton, he is GOOD in badminton also. I was like, omgg zul are u kidding u are so good in sports, seriously. haha. okay den when i went off to change, i saw NICHOLAS! he is super funny can. haha, joker.

after that went for dinner in school, den home sweet home.

okay end of my day. haha.

rarrr, my stupid acer gone case again. need to bring to acer again :( so sad. irritating.

2009-01-15T22:06:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T.J.M and JANNA!

t.j although u never come school, may u have a happy birthday :D

2009-01-13T03:17:00.000-08:00

ARGH!!!! I WANT NEW SHOE! aiming for CROCS santa cruz. its so nice la. today nic brought the girls one to school, cos his fren bought from him. I want e guy's santa cruz. haha.

so nice right.! maybe i will buy another one just in case. but im sure im gg to buy this! haha.

2009-01-13T03:12:00.000-08:00

arghh. im selected!!! so happy la.

people im gg overseas soon. i will miss some people. i wont miss some.

i will miss my family especially. I WANT TO GO OUT WITH FRENS SOON. LONG LOST FRENS! hahaha.

2009-01-11T08:22:00.001-08:00

not going school on MONDAY!
hope to get selected.
STUDY MORE SOON!

2009-01-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

thank you for letting me to love you.

even its just a short one year. thank you.

cherish me now.

2009-01-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

maybe one day i will not talk to you anymore.

2008-11-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

i watched movie. i watched Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa.

and im gg to change new phone already.... samsung F480. omg. so cool. expensive. im gg to take good care of it. this colour is limited edition. i hope they will have it today.

2008-11-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

分手都已过了那么久
现在也有自已的生活
你身边有个人牵着你的手
我们就像是朋友偶尔联络

心情不好你会来跟我说
我安慰你不难过
等你恢复笑容
总是笑着道谢转身走
变成朋友的你和我并不轻松

I could see I love you
It hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他
失魂落魄不说一句话
爱的重量不在我身上

I could see I love you
It hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
过去不想全部隐藏
就试着遗忘

说
对我诉说你跟他满脸笑容
我微笑地聆听接受
过去的你和我
是否也爱得那么冲动
痛哭好久开心也有让人感动

I could see I love you
It hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他
失魂落魄不说一句话
但是我的心现在却比你还伤

I could see I love you
It hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
让你看透我的心现在我不想
是该说放就放
就试着遗忘

痛苦我会遗忘
只想看你开心的模样
新的恋情让它成长
而过去
就放在心上.

its time for me to forget. it really hurts me. everytime i get to think about it. but its time to be fair to myself. stop thinking about it lionel. stop. calm down. stop thinking.

sigh. i decide to give up, it hurts me but i still have to. i know she don love me, but what can i do.

2008-11-09T04:19:00.000-08:00

im not happy..

efforts? nah, wasted.

2008-11-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

sigh, i don't know. maybe shifting off or not blogging anymore.

STOP GIVING ME NONSENSE.

2008-10-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

To Jane:

Jane, my love. Allow me to call you one more time baby, just for this time.
Baby, I know you have suffered a lot mentally. I’m sorry for being the one who caused everything. I know it’s my fault to accept you as a girlfriend. To make you so scared and afraid every time we go out. I love and thank you for sacrificing so much for me. I know after Grandpa pass away, you felt enlighten that you shouldn’t have be with me. I felt a little enlighten at that moment, but because I love you I didn’t mind. I understand how you feel, because you always tell me you are scared but I never once ask you not to be scared. But even if I do, I know you will still be scared. I know you tried very hard to keep everything to yourself. But do know you have me with you, you need to talk to me more about yourself, cannot keep everything to yourself. You have me with you, to face all the odds, difficulties and things that you are afraid to overcome; dearie will always be beside you to guide you. Don’t worry. If you love me, you will trust me.

I know you done a lot of things for me; I appreciate everything you have done. I know you are trying to force me to leave you, because you don’t want to be my burden, but baby you didn’t think for me, you say you hurt me by hurting yourself, but do you know. This is very painful. Really painful.

I think I can no longer stay with you already, I know you no longer want to like me. I am very sad, very hurt. I really don’t understand why girls will treat me like that. I don’t want to like anybody already. When will I find someone who really loves me? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out. You are the 1st girlfriend who treats me so good, I will not forget you.

To be honest with you now, this is the longest lie I have lied to you, you are my longest girlfriend. I didn’t want to tell you because I scared that one day you will leave me like how other girls do. That’s why I replied girls always lie. I was hurt, now again. I really don’t know what to do.

When you told me, you will be the one who will piece up my heart. I was touched, really touched. I thought I found someone who really cares for me. But when I get too in love with you, all things changed.

I know I can no longer say anything to change the way you love me. I can no longer do anything to make you smile and laugh, I can no longer make you happy already. I am useless. I know if I leave you, you will be happy.

I am not going to be soft-hearted now, no longer will. I am going to leave you, I promise I will remember you, I promise I will not throw away your presents, I promise everything I promised you before. I will read finish your book as soon as possible and return it to you. But I just want you to be happy; I know you don’t love me already.

And I don’t want to stick to you. I will go to school myself, eat my meals on time, go out with my friends, and play my games as usual. You will have your time your own free time, you can eat with your classmates your friends; you can go wherever you like with whoever you want. I won’t be worrying for you, because I know you will take care of yourself. I will be normal soon, I guess.

Baby, for all I ever wanted is just a long long relationship with you, till we grow old, still holding hands together smiling and doing funny faces to each other, making fun of each other, scolding each other, angry with each other. But I know, we won’t have it already, you are not my burden, you are my present, my gift, my love, you are someone who is here to take care of me and to love me. But I know you have no other choice but to leave me. I know and can feel that I am no longer important to you but I will still have to say…

Baby, thank you for giving me such a wonderful time every time when we are together, I always give you face, always say there is not enough hugs and kisses, but all I ever want is just to love you more, cause I can no longer do anything else already. I don’t know what to do to give you more surprises; whatever things I try to do, don’t seem to catch your attention anymore.

Baby, from today onwards, I guess I will not see you anymore, I really hope you can take care of yourself, don’t get bullied by people. Wear your clothes nicely, remember to cover at times, unbalance must make it balance, tired must go wet your feet, sleepy must sleep. If you are bored, you can talk to yourself entertain yourself, or to play with yourself cut some ice cubes and sell to yourself. If it’s raining bring a small umbrella out with you, when you got flu, bring a packet of tissue with you, when you finish eating remember to clean your teeth, when you are sleeping remember to cover your blanket, sleep tight and have mon mon dreams. When you wake up, remember to brush your teeth, bathe and change the amount of clothes that will make you more confident to attend school.

Whatever, I do I am also wrong, I don’t even have the rights to get jealous and when I have no expression, I get scolded. I am a November baby; I have privilege to get jealous easily. :(
Sometimes I feel that, you just don’t think for me, whatever decision you made, you decide it straight away, you won’t wait for me, and you won’t want to ask for my decision.
Every time, I feel sad when I am with you, I don’t want to feel sad anymore, I want to leave you; I want to forget about you, I hope time will help me recover.
Now you will have your freedom back, I will not disturb you anymore.

Time to say good bye. :(
I wonder do you still love me…
I know being in a relationship is tough, but honestly being with you is all I ever hope for.
I am hurt, really hurt.

I hope you will find a better boyfriend, who is
Willing to treat you better than me,
Willing to miss you more than me,
Willing to take care of you more than how I can,
Willing to endure your behaviour when you angry,
Willing to do everything for you,
Willing to love you more than I do.

I do hope you will treat your next boyfriend better. I know you will, don’t lose him.

Thank you for this beautiful one year. I really enjoy every moments with you, I really do.

I can no longer, feed you, hug you, kiss you, carry you, carry bag for you, and do many many things that we haven’t did.I won’t be able to eat smelly tofu with you anymore, Wont be able to see your funny weird faces anymore,

:(

Byebye Jane, my longest baby, my longest love. Take care.

STOP ALL BLOG TAGS. UNDERSTAND NOW?? THIS IS WHAT I GAVE HER 4MONTHS AGO, NOW IM STILL SUFFERING. UNDERSTAND. STOP POSTING IRRITATING COMMENTS. FUCKED UP IDIOTS.

2008-10-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

FUCKED UP. EVERYONE THINKS IM E WRONG ONE.

2008-10-26T04:43:00.000-07:00

im no longer lionel. i am damn. i am nothing. i am a piece of shyt.

2008-10-25T02:10:00.000-07:00

scold scold scold.

2008-10-23T17:43:00.001-07:00

musicismyonlycompany.

2008-10-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

sigh its just so different.

:'( i have no more strength to continue.

moodless.

2008-10-22T17:28:00.001-07:00

the unwillingness, the nothing.

2008-10-21T00:14:00.001-07:00

i had a bad day.

2008-10-20T03:19:00.000-07:00

im feeling this now.

2008-10-20T03:13:00.001-07:00

:'(

just feel like a piece of shyt.

2008-10-19T18:44:00.002-07:00

i have nothing much to say.

2008-10-19T18:44:00.001-07:00

the silent pant.

sigh, i think i'll give up soon.

2008-10-15T17:27:00.001-07:00

when you lost somethings, no matter how much effort you put back to it. it will not return as a whole.

sigh. i really don understand i almost fall asleep also want kp me

2008-10-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

i guess im closer to it. day by day.

unappreciated,

2008-10-13T23:07:00.001-07:00

unappreciated.

sigh

2008-10-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

hurt by the eyes of many.

2008-10-12T20:21:00.001-07:00

unsure what piece on the chessboard to move.

sigh. moodless.

2008-10-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

i'll just let the clock to run, the time to fly, the days to pass.

sigh. get scolded i said sorry yet still angry with me

2008-10-08T20:33:00.001-07:00

sigh. im lost i don know.

WTF!!!!!! ARGHHHHHH

2008-10-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

perhaps its near the end of time.

just different.

2008-10-05T23:05:00.001-07:00

it will be for the last time.

hurt.

idiot.

2008-10-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

to HI: for your information, I guess you ain't as fortunate as you wished. you may want to mind your own business, before you get your own ass burnt. if there's anything you want to talk to me about come find me. I know you are someone whom I know, but just don have enough guts to stand out and talk to me. you like to accuse people so be it. to be a busybody you ain't somebody.

Come find me and talk to me if you want. but i guess you wont dare.

im sad, moodless. why she treat me like that one

2008-10-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

i need someone to talk to.

to love or to hate.

2008-10-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

i began to understand.

2008-09-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

I don even get a simple thank you. I don even get appreciated I guess, for doing things.

nv block e seat for me, say me when i reminded her

2008-09-28T17:33:00.001-07:00

i see slight change in my life.

why want to talk to me like that again

2008-09-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

why am i being treated like this?

i hate it.

hmm confused.

2008-09-24T19:31:00.001-07:00

this way im being selfish to myself.

2008-09-17T05:55:00.001-07:00

im confused. what to do?

sigh. should i care a not?

2008-09-17T03:09:00.000-07:00

my mind is as troubled as codes.

she "care" alot.

2008-09-16T01:06:00.000-07:00

lionel stop being so stupid la.

if only silly was like her.

2008-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

she is so devoted.

http://www.charleneyl.blogspot.com/

2008-09-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

my life is tough. i cant take it any longer. i will just pray for the best.

2008-09-15T00:01:00.001-07:00

i think i should change.

she don cares

2008-09-14T23:43:00.000-07:00

lionel, is it time to make some of your own decisions? not to listen to others, and make sure that's a decision you wont regret?

hmmm. how? which one?

2008-09-11T03:58:00.001-07:00

ignorance.

don know. why treat me like that. don love me i know.

2008-09-06T04:14:00.000-07:00

life is unfair. i know

i have to accept it.

sigh

2008-09-04T19:15:00.001-07:00

what i do to deserve this.

i know my current stand. don i get jealous. sigh. forget it. im just too lost now.

wtf. is a movie just so difficult to watch? is it really just so difficult to go out with ME?

2008-09-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

im damn vexed now.

to hate it or to love it.
someone please decide for me.