Dear baby,

Happy 10th month! Hahas.

Well, it’s been very long since I have sent you home, omg. I really miss the times. I still remember at that particular day, I cried at your bus stop, I covered myself with my blue jacket, u were inside with me too, it was raining heavily, many people saw us hiding in the jacket as buses and people who walk passed us, that moment was so memorable to me because that’s when I felt being very loved. I know I can’t send you home, but I really miss sending you home.

I am scared of you at times, I don’t know why; I cried more which I don’t understand why; I am scared that you will leave me one day which is the greatest fear in my mind.

While typing this message to my love one, I maybe crying in my heart, because I felt that maybe whatever I do, you may not like, whatever I say I may get scolded, at times I am really confused why am I being scolded. But I know that no matter how much you scold me or be angry at me, you will make me smile at the end of the day :D

My tears became very fragile as time pass, it drops whenever my emotions changes, I am really thinking of letting go of myself whenever I want to cry, but I have to hide it deep inside. I don’t want to let you see how I cry, because I don’t want to make you sad. I would rather be sad to make you happy than being sad together with me. I know that I maybe selfish at times, but this is because I don’t have much time with you. Go to school together, most of the time, sleeping. During schools, only 2 hours together, where 1 hour is for break. We are left with 1 hour. After school, quickly rush out of school and go home, on the train, again sleeping. See how exhausted the school made us, or perhaps made me to be more selfish against time? I tried to keep it to myself, but I think that this boulder is too heavy; I can no longer support it on my chest. I know that this is a challenge that we have to face but this challenge could be hard on me. But no matter what I will beat this challenge.

Baby baby baby, maybe I have over-loved you so much, that have become the pain that I have, but I don’t mind, as long as you are happy and do not get so stress and impatient at times it will turn and tell me that my love for you has turned to be good. Okay, stay happy, I will always be by your side no matter what :D I love you.


Love,

Dearie.