Wednesday, August 27, 2008
i don know.
i don know.
i don know.
i don know.
i know i don know.
how to find out?
3:48 AM
Monday, August 25, 2008
harlow,
went movieeeee with yi hao, and ben e quek.
hmm watched, money not enough 2. well its quite nice la e movie. hmm quite touching also.
haha. okay. watched alr den home sweet home.
how i wish. sigh
9:39 AM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
opportunities.
5:04 AM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
one day go, another day will come.
5:39 AM
Friday, August 15, 2008
its just so pain. really very pain.
~awaits.
2:37 AM
Thursday, August 14, 2008
:(
8:57 AM
Friday, August 8, 2008
hello,
i will pray. i will wait. becos i know. i love you.
silly. :D
9:33 PM
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
hello,
I love everybody.
I love mummy,
I love daddy,
I love granny,
I love grandpa,
I love brother,
I love her.
I love mummy, her unconditional love for me, is just so undescribable. during the year when grandpa passed away, her 1st brother listened to a salesgirl who was just recruited by my mummy, say that my mummy don know what to do in the company. her 1st sister treat her really bad too, almost everybody treat mummy bad. during that period, why becos of money, mummy side relatives uses money as their clothes, uses sharkfin as their colgate. but what mummy have is nothing but a NO POSITION in the family. Despite when she was young, she lost her daddy, she listened to her granny, asking her to help his 1st brother in the shop, since 1970s all the way to 2003, she was working for the shop at the age of 18, she wasted 30 years of her life, in the stupid shop, collecting just 1.8k a month. never once, increased in pay. until when she had me, her 3rd brother(better one, best) had no other choice when he sees that his sister, need more income, he personally gives my mummy 200 dollars more a month. THE 1st brother did nothing, all he do is listen to the girl, and kick my mummy out of the company. Leaving her alone, lost. Daddy had no job, not exactly, a property agent. But sales was low, he was tired of the job. He wanted to help mummy and open one retail shop during 1990s, but what came in destroying the hopes of his, was my mummy's 1st sister. SHE IS BAD to the core. Mummy have to acknowledge all the shyt stuff, everything that is bad goes to her, but what she did was to take it all in. She is e greatest mother on earth, she feed me and brother, from young till now. I really cant repay her so much. She is just too caring. I still rmb the last time when she scolded me and I really learnt my lesson, I didnt do well in school, primary school. Mummy was so stressed, she was fed-up, she threw my uniform out of house, wanted to throw my bag down the main rubbish bin. I cried, very sadly. I know I didnt do well, but im just so lousy in studies at that time. From then on, mummy nv scold me alr. Mummy, I love you, because you took in all the stress yourself, without having consoles. I can only love you silently. I don know how to face you and tell you all these. I love you.
I love my daddy, because no matter what happens, or where I am, whatever I do, he will give me or direct me the right way. I still rmb when I was very young, I wanted a dinosaur from 7-11, that dinosaur toy was really expensive, about 45++. I promised daddy that I will share it with brother, but he didn't believe. So he bought 2, he said and told me that " huh, don bluff me, later you sure fight with didi or he will fight with you." den i was so touch when daddy bought 2. And there was once more time when during chinese new year, mummy side relatives, have tigers soft toy, I like them so much I ask daddy to get it for me. but this soft toys only if you have pump enuff petrol at ESSO station, than you can purchase them at a offer rate of $19.90 each. daddy, pump and bought me and brother 2. so sweet. despite our nonsense in the car, shouting that we want it so much, straight after we left grandmother house, we went back home and get it.
And, wherever I am, in singapore, at night, or during e day, when I am so lazy to go home alone, or by bus myself, I just give a call to daddy, he will come no matter of time or place. He will come and bring me home. I really love him la, fatherly love. I really don know where can I get another one.
During my days, in secondary school, he was very afraid that I will turn bad, he don care what time I end school, he will pick me up wherever he is. He teach me how to study, he teach me how important one decision can make my life ruin. He teach me almost everything, whenever I ask him anything I don't know, he will be able to reply me. But now becos Im clever, I ask him things that he cant answer, den I will tell him answer. haha. He is really a good daddy.
I love granny, omg.. best granny on earth man. she nags, she sleeps, she talks, she eats, she screams, she shouts. She loves me and brother and other cousins. Because of her, I learnt that one shouldn't waste their food, how much you order, you eat that amount, even if you over ordered you still have to finished the food. She teach me how to be good, all along since young, kindergarten, she brought me and brother up. She will bring me down to the park and walk, play, bring me to market ask me must say harlow to everyone I see. I did. haha.
There was once, when I saw a bicycle in the market. Granny bought it for me, because my birthday was near. that bike cost granny a bomb. But granny don mind, and keep asking me if I like it. Everything is so nice when I was young, very young. And because we cant squeeze the bicycle in the car, granny volunteered to walk me back home, whilst i cycled home. I cycled at a very slow pace. to meet my granny's walking speed. haha. okay, granny is just so nice. she treat everybody equally, her love is more than love. I really love her. And now its my turn to take care of her, I buy things for her, I massage her, I make her laugh. I treat her well :D
I love my grandpa although he passed away during 2003, I didnt had much memories with grandpa because when I was 2, he suffered from stroke. From then on, he cant really talk, walk, or even move. When I grew older, daddy told more about him to me, I find grandpa a really good daddy too, he treats everybody good, esp kids. My biggest cousin, already married, was most loved by him. cos he is the 1st boy grandchild of my aunty. okay.
I remember everytime when he asked for sweets, I will be e very willingly one to give him sweet, to feed him, I get a thank you from him, and good boy. I on the television for him, on the fan for him to keep him entertained. although he cant talk much, but I know he wants to talk alot, he wants to say "thank you ah hong" in a proper way. ah hong, is my teochew translation name. I yearn for his voice, I yearn feeding him sweets, I yearn to see him again. I really miss him. I really do. When he passed away in the hospital, I cried really hard. really painful to lose him. I can never feed him sweets anymore :( he didnt had the chance to take care of me. but at least I have the chance to take care of him. There was once I told him, you cannot go without attending my wedding, seeing my children. if you attend for anyone of the cousins, but he didnt have the chance to attend any of theirs. I think because he dont want to be bias, he wants to be fair, that's why he leave me. Grandpa, its been a few years alr. ah hong miss you.
I love my brother, without him I wont be who I am, because I fight with him, challenge him, I prove myself being better than him, that's when I grew. He is a good competitor. To compete to not to lose. He is just there, he is although quite nonsense at times, but he meant for good. okay. brother i love you. nothing more cos u are nonsense. haha.
I love her, she is one who bring the word "happy" into my life after grandpa pass away, everything changes after grandpa pass away. she makes me happy, whenever Im down, she do whatever it takes to make me happy when Im sad. she will always be there when I need her. I really love her. Nothing more can I explain about her love, there is too much unforgettable times she gave to me. love is just being so wonderful. but now its my time to take care of her. she have difficulties, she needs my understanding, she needs my everything. Im willing to give up everything for her. my love. i love you.
will anyone regret or feel sad, when you really felt you lost someone you really love or who loved you. ans: definitely will.
4:24 AM
im very sad now. why why why :( why must like that. its just so different. so difficult. so pain.
2:14 AM
